we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
