As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
