like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
