I bet he comes in French.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
