Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
