You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You are a genius and a whore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
