Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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