You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
