you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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