I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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