I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
