do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
