u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
