I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
