How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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