If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
