so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dick very happy bro
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
