The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you had me at cake vodka
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
