all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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