My sheets look like a crime scene.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
