when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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