where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
