So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
