me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
