how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
