I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
