he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
