ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
