I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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