I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this boner is exhausting
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
