there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
