If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
