I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
