I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
