I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
