How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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