break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
