I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i think my cat just said my name.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
