Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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