I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
