Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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