How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
its not stalking. its research.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
