ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I fill condoms, not promises.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
