Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
