I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
