Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
