It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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