never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
