My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
