Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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