i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
