i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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