He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Vodka?
Forever.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
