They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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