I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
