I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
