there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
