Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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