she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
