thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
